Exhaustion

Last Saturday evening I finally reached the point of pure exhaustion. I was stumbling around and did not know my name. I know enough to know at that point to stop and walk away! I needed to recharge. If I don't listen to my mind and body, I end up sick and it seems like it's been harder and harder to bounce back especially as we grow older. Sometimes I think I wish I could be a normal and work a 9-5 job. Then I come back down to earth. I tried that for years and it is safe to say that it is not my thing. Today I decided to go find inspiration and I did. A change of scenery is exactly what I needed. Anything nature is definitely the best way for me to be inspired next to people. Let me rephrase that some people. I may as well be all the way honest and get it out of the way. Most people really are not for me..........less people less bullshit! Sad but true! Do you ever just reach your limit of people for the day? I do, often! However, I know when to stop and I view it as a gift. Do you ever just wonder if you spent any amount of time with people you don't know really but you know they inspire you what could happen? Like sharing ideas and feeding off each other and the raw pure creative energy? I do! Like the person you know that can make you think so far out of the box type of person. I do, often!

from august to mid-october i wrote something i call THE EXHAUSTION DIARIES, written anonymously at work. created and maintained primarily out of boredom, it became a combination journal, philosophy, and running editorial on life, the universe, and everything. it covers drug use, physics, politics, and includes short stories, dreams, and poetry - all linked together through the theme of exhaustion. at about 65 pages i'm about ready to call it done. at least, there's no reason to continue writing it, as i've gone from an average of 3 hours of sleep per night to an average of something like 12. to go back and edit would be to lose the edge of immediacy. maybe someday i'll go back and clean it up, at least. but not until i have a reason. for now, though, i'm happy to call it quits and release it into the wild. anyone who'd like a copy, send me a message with an e-mail to send it to. thanks.