Burden

I've always had this complex where no matter what I think im burdening those around me. Its lead to me going back and forth between periods of distancing myself because im scared of burdening people with my presence. Its like im just perpetually guilty for just existing. Its to the point I need constant re assurance that im not being a burden which then becomes a burden to those I ask lol. Hopefully I can get back into therapy soon though. This burden complex has been extra bad since the biggining of last year when shit with previous roommates were really bad.

Its to the point that me and my partner have almost broken up a few times as a result. I love them so fucking much yet I can't help feeling like yet another mental, emotional, financial, and physic burden to them.
I became such a burden to myself I became one to friends and family. Im more scared of being one now than I ever have been in my life. I just want it to stop man. Had yet another tough convo with my partner and trying to move on from it is a bitch because I keep getting into the "fuck dude im just an emotional burden." I just wanna have these conversations without hurting someone or without jumping to assumptions and making the normal mistakes I do with language and my how.

I dont want to become a burden to anyone else I care about, especially one of the few people that seems to actually accept me for me. Hopefully I can either get back into therapy soon or finally break this curse or feeling like I bring nothing but misery where I go.